Life at 43, a husband, dad, paddler, and businessman

August 24, 2007

Photos

In the circle of kayakers I compete in, I am an old man. In the circle of friends I have in my business, or in the kayaking industry in general, or even family friends, I am right in the middle. And to some, of course, I am quite young. My dad, many friends here at Rock Island, etc., are in their 50’s and 60’s and 70’s and to them, I am a spring chicken. Life is funny that way, in that we naturally adjust our thinking as to what is young or old. The way I live my life leaves little time for feeling old and I found that my paddling, competing against teens and 20 somethings, and just playing with my kids is my personal fountain of youth.

It seems that growing "old" is a function of what you accept in your life and what you consider the norm. Wrestling in the grass, a game of football or soccer, learning new tricks on the trampoline, swimming in the lake, trying new things in your kayak, saying yes to any activity that could be fun (like mountain biking, waterskiing, bungee jumping, etc.) all are things that you, at 18-21 would give anything to do, or at least would never consider yourself to be too old to do. I find that I easily assimilate into my surroundings and if I hang out with people that are active and want to play or work, or whatever, I am game to participate too. If the people I am hanging out with want to sit and rest because they "just don’t have the energy that they used to" then I am content to sit with them, for a while anyways.

I have come up with a few things that I think are key to being physically and mentally as young as you can.

1. Never moan and groan when you get up from sitting or laying down. Announcing to yourself and the world that you are old and in pain is a downhill spiral. You might as well buy yourself a walker now and fast forward there. Figure out what is causing you to be stiff or have pain in any part of your body and fix it with exercise, stretching, or yoga.

2. Spend more time with people quite a bit younger than you, that are active. Just because somebody is 20 doesn’t make them active. I know 20 year olds that act like they have one foot in the grave already and are about as much fun to hang out with as a sloth. You know the people I am talking about. They are outside having fun. They are moving rocks around in the river when it is too low to paddle, going foam boating, etc. They want to challenge you to a race up the hill, to a wrestling match, to a game of something. Why do they want to challenge you? Because they are assessing if you are too old to be competitive with them anymore. Remember that being young means that you figure the old guys or gals may know something you don’t. Before they wrestle you they wonder if you were a black belt, an ex army guy or something like that and the answer is quite clear when you would rather sit on a chair and have a beer. Kids have the energy to want to do something, anything. Fun is what you make it, and having fun only requires deciding to first and then getting up and doing something. Hanging out with kids, yours or others, and actually deciding to play with them is not only fun, but it keeps you young and reminds you that you can do anything they can and if you can’t do it as well at the moment, at least you know you can do it more often and could catch up.

3. Choose your physical activity that you want to excel in, and train for it. We all have things we do that require no physical activity. For me it is running Jackson Kayak. I can spend the entire day, every day, behind a computer, on the phone, etc. and still not get "all" of my work done. Because the company, its employees, my customers, are all so important to me I have no problem finding the motivation to be a 100% workaholic. Nobody is going to say to me, “get up, start working out, do something!” until I get fat, out of shape and unhealthy. Why wait for that? Getting fat, out of shape, and unhealthy IS being old! It is being slow, knowing you can’t do much without being uncomfortable and the only real way to be comfortable is to sit in a big chair, have a drink, and don’t move too much. Training for something provides the motivation to workout and be healthy and fit just like the rewards of doing a good job at work provides the motivation to spend countless hours working. I recommend that you find something you can compete in, even on a very personal level. Kristine, for example is now running. She is a beginner runner, but her sights are set on running a marathon. Training for a marathon means you must be able to run long distances and that requires building up your distances and running often enough. Running to “stay in shape” lacks that urgency required to get your butt off the couch and run, when you have a full bottle of wine, a tv show, or a friend that wants to sit and chat. For me it is simple. I love kayaking and competing in my kayak. I maintained incredible physical conditioning all year in 2007 (and 2006, 2005, etc.) through my desire to perform well in my kayak. When I am at the Ottawa, and we are paddling from McCoys rapid to the Garberator, a 15 minute paddle, I sprint it. Why? Well to get to the wave first, of course; before Nick, Emily, Dane, Stephen, etc.. Why? So I can surf with no line, and the resulting conditioning that comes with it is enough to have me push hard everytime.. The end result for me is that I get in great shape, race ready, without doing much more than playing hard. Like to kayak, want to kayak to stay in shape, but can’t get yourself to go out and “workout” in your kayak? Find a kayak race being held somewhere that you can enter and convince some friends to race with you. Set up training times to go out and get in shape for it. You’ll be younger, stronger, more motivated, healthier, and happier for it. I have been home for three weeks now and not kayaked once! It is a new record for me, I think. Rock Island is in a drought and I was ready to be home. I am now running and working out on the Paddle Station. My motivation is simply to stay in some kind of good shape until Nick gets home and then we’ll train together. I just saw the “World Extreme Championships” add for a race in Austria. Austria is a long ways away from Rock Island. The thought of competing in it, got me thinking that I want to win, of course, which gets me thinking that I need to stop the downward trend in my conditioning that started the day I left the Ottawa a month ago. Instead, I started thinking about getting out in the flatwater and doing distance, sprints, etc. Going to the Green and doing some class 5 race practice, etc. Everyone needs a bow pulled taught to propel their arrow to the bulls-eye. A bow that isn’t under tension doesn’t do anyone any good. Find a physical game, plan an event to do, and train for it. Make sure you have your next event planned before you do the first one.

3. Eliminate 100% of the self talk or conversations that have anything to do with you “being old” or “my body just doesn’t recover like it used to”, etc. That is bs, and you just have to put your body back on the fast track. If you have been inactive for a long time, you are out of shape and it will require a longer time to bring your bodies effective age back down from “old” to “young”.

I have been without my kids since outdoor retailer last month. They are up on the Ottawa without me. While I would prefer for them to be here, it has been an opportunity to just be a husband again, instead of a husband and a dad. Spending time with Kristine in a less crazy world than our RV travels is proving to be a wonderful thing, as always. It takes a little work sometimes to get on the same page and really be 100% together, especially when there is so much we can talk about that has little to do with each other. I think we are finally there after this week at home. We are planning things together, that are fun to do together, instead of spending our time together just because we are in the same house, or need to eat. Monday is our 19th anniversary and we will spend it at home. We have no interest in going to a hotel, or out to dinner. We have our favorite place in the world, right here, and it is our home. Like being young physically, being young in a relationship requires remembering what that is and being just that. Making out, holding hands, getting that wonderful bubbly feeling just by looking at your spouse is something that you can’t be mad you don’t have, but instead is something that you get by appreciating the fact that you are in love and somebody loves you. I know what it is like to get overwhelmed by “life” and lose that excitement you have in being in love, even when you are and know they love you. It comes back just as fast when you create moments where there is little to focus on but each other and you have a drink to your lives together and really look into each other’s eyes. I must say nothing is more important to me than having that feeling of love well up inside me. It does require putting your significant other first, before all else, for it not to get lost. Even the kids have to be second to your spouse if you want to maintain a real loving relationship.

Speaking of kids- Emily and Dane are such incredible kids and I am sure I feel like most parents out there, that my kids are the best in the world! Spending a few weeks without them reminds me that I need to spend more time with them when I can! I don’t show them enough affection, especially Dane. I don’t compliment them enough, and only when I am not with them do I realize just how much they look for my approval. These are the feelings that make parenting so rewarding for me. Knowing that your kids want your approval, and watching the incredible things they do everyday, makes me feel like the luckiest parent alive. Both kids are sweet as pie and will do anything to help others if they know you need help. Like all 14 year old boys that I know, Dane is aloof to basic needs around the house, for example, but when clued in, he jumps to action. Emily is a lot like me in that she gets all wrapped up in her goals and loses sight of what is going on around her too. For her, right now, it is finishing high school. She is a studying madman. I get irritated with her because she won’t stop doing school work when I want to play. I guess there could be worse. Dane doesn’t frustrate me that way. He is always ready to play! Of course, he frustrates Kristine when she tries to get him to stop playing and do his school work.

So what is life all about for me right now? I am enjoying the opportunity to work with all of the advanced tools of business, right in my own home. Wireless internet, networking, cordless phones, skype, automatic back-up systems, a complete staff and network of incredibly talented people, all working towards a common goal. As you can see in the photos, I enjoy a morning cup of coffee. It is a ritual that Kristine and I have. I make the coffee and bring it to her in bed, unless she gets up early. Lately she has been getting up and running, so we share the coffee out on the deck. I am wearing my new pajamas, that were a gift from Tony Lunt, my awesome partner. They are the softest PJs I have ever worn, and they say Jackson on them! I haven’t technically started training for anything in particular. I am considering the Austrian extreme race, but want to hear about the course first. I will compete in the National Freestyle championships in Maryland in September. I am maintaining conditioning so that I don’t have to start over when I begin again. My conditioning one month ago was tip top, ready for anything. I am running now and think I will join Kristine in a marathon. I have never done one before and we all have only one set of legs and I can promise you any one in a wheelchair would tell you that they would never let their legs get out of shape if they could get use of them back again. That is enough information for me to want to have my legs ready for anything. I will force myself to take some days off, like the weekends, to do fun things with Kristine, while it is quiet around the Jackson Ranch. I also have my sights set on making Jackson Kayak everything it can and should be. I want to grow my company as the “people’s company”. I want my customers to be proud of owning a Jackson Kayak for all of the right reasons. In a recent article, somebody who I compete against, said that “EJ is too intense- get over it dude”. I feel quite relaxed with myself and my approach to this life. I hope I never “get over it”. I am only truly happy when I am either throwing 100% of my blood, sweat, and tears into something that is really important to me or others, or; I am taking a break, dead tired, from my recent efforts, and able to look around at what I have accomplished for a moment and smile and say, “I (or We) are doing this.” And then when the sweat has dried and the muscles are mostly recovered, I want to be back in action…

🙂

EJ