2003 World Freestyle Kayak Championships – Report 17, May 23

Rules for Terminator IV (To avoid being Terminated)

Rules

The Terminator senses weakness and punishes it with relentless beatings. To avoid the wrath of this cyber-cybernetic organism sent back from the future to test the resolve of kayakers from over 30 countries, consider these rules.

1. The Light at the end of the Tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train. Turn around and go the other way. (Don’t try to pull yourself out of the corners, you will just initiate yourself back into the pit, instead, spin around and blast out
2. When you find yourself upside don’t try to be smart and figure out where you are. You will have spun around by the time you figure it out anyway. Instead, just roll. If it doesn’t work, don’t stress, the hole will flip you anyway, and then you have a 50% chance of going down again, see rule number 3.
3. When you feel like a beating is coming upon you (you have flipped twice and don’t know where you are), go the offense right away. (Just like in the movie, when the Terminator shoots, you shoot back) THROW YOUR BODY FORWARD and try to initiate any move you can. By going forward you put yourself in the drivers seat where moves happen and beatings end. “Beatings will continue until posture improves, I always say.
4. Challenge your mind to use this self-talk: “I want to go in the hole, and I want to stay in for at least 45 seconds, please don’ t let me flush early!” You will find that you have conquered the Terminator IV already. This hole wants to abuse only anybody who is in the hole saying, “I want out.” It seems to flush everybody else prematurely, most of the time.
5. Remember- This hole is being enjoyed by kayakers of all levels. There are also kayakers of all levels that despise it. One thing for sure, it is challenging for all. The challenge is part of the fun, for those enjoying it. It is the freestyle version of a challenging rapid. The adrenaline, the “unknown factor”, and the sudden randomness that it provides any paddler is it’s strong suit. To accept it for what it is and to become a stronger paddler through training in it, is it’s gift. Anybody willing to accept the hole for what it is and take it for what it is worth will find it to be a rewarding experience. Conquering Terminator IV is to conquer 90+% of all holes you will encounter on any river. It is a gift to all kayakers who know a gift when they see one. The others? Well, that brings us to rule #5: “There is no reality, just our perception of reality.” So one person’s “beating” is another’s winning ride. Will you be a “glass is half full or half empty” person at this event?

**This is not necessarily the views of the organizers, the IFC, or any other official body for that matter, it is just the opinion of one kayaker here. If this competition where being held anywhere else, the general rules would remain the same. Game on!!! The World’s are coming down the tracks like a runaway train and the opportunities to enjoy it will be over before we know it! Let’s give’r!