EJ’s State of Affairs- a personal note

September 13, 2005

Life is lived individually, no matter what anyone says.
Each of us has our own thoughts, goals, fears, doubts, and experiences
happiness in their own way. I am fortunate enough to enjoy my own life
along side my favorite people in the world; Kristine, Emily, Dane, and
the many friends I try to surround myself with. In the past 17 years of
marriage, my life has grown tremendously. From the time I was 18, until
the time I was married at 24, I lived my life alone, with friends, but
I was only accountable to myself. I didn’t change much after getting
married, really just bringing Kristine into my world as my favorite person
in the world, but still focused on the same things as before we got married.
When I was 25 Emily was born, changing my focus ever so slightly, but
for sure adding to the accountability factor. A steady progression followed
from 1990 to 1997. I started figuring out ways to make money as a kayaker,
and we started spending money. Dane was born in 1993 and it seemed that
we were more rapidly moving towards a yuppie lifestyle in Brookmont, MD.
By 1996 my life was very focused on maintaining a lifestyle that I couldn’t
easily afford (not glamorous, just more than a slalom racer can handle)
and I wasn’t happy. The kayaker in me was being pushed aside for
the business person in me. Don’t try to push the kayaker in me away,
it is like trying to get someone to stop breathing.

To avoid the ultimate pending meltdown in our marriage
we shed everything that wasn’t needed and moved into an RV where
the family and kayaking became number one on the radar screen. This, simply
put, was the best family decision we ever made. What we learned on the
road, together, is what is really important in each of our lives. Kristine
learned that family and her own happiness didn’t come from external
conditions, but from her focus on her family and happiness. I learned,
again, that my wife and I are 100% compatible and desire the same things.

Emily was 7 and Dane was 4 when we moved in the RV.
Dane only knows homeschooling, and has only vague memories of living in
a house. Emily remembers having her own bedroom, and thinks she knows
what going to public school is like. After 5 years of full time living
in an RV, the entire family, including me, spent more time wanting to
find a place to call home. Having traveled most of the country, and actually
living at the best rivers from the east coast to the west coast and everywhere
in between, we all agreed on Rock Island for our favorite place to call
home. Luckily for us, in 2003, we found a 20 acre lot on Powerhouse Road
for sale, $79,000. We scrambled for six months to save the downpayment
needed and with lots of effort (we had been living on cash only for 5
years, no credit cards or credit of any kind) we bought the land. There
was an old trailer on the property, but nothing we could live in. We planned
on building a log home on the property but it looked like I would not
have a job in a short amount of time so we held off and put a double wide
trailer on the front of the property and Kristine’s mom moved in
to it with us. This became our place to hang our hat when we came off
the road, but ultimately this house was purchased for and will be my mother-in-law’s
house. The kids share a small bedroom, and feels less like home than the
RV. Everyone still has their sights set on our first Jackson family home
since 1997. Emily wants her own bedroom before she graduates from high
school, Kristine wants to have our own home while the kids still live
with us; tick tock.

Evaluating our motives is always a tough one. You can
rationalize the material things you want easily as needs or things that
will make you happy. Either I have done a great job in rationalizing or
we are truly ready for our own home after 8 years. I think that it is
a little bit of both; the old, nothing is as good or bad as it seems at
the moment concept. A home of our own won’t make us happier people,
necessarily, unless we choose to be happier. What it will do, however,
is allow us to belong somewhere. This is something that I think we are
ready for. Jackson Kayak belongs at Rock Island already. We may be buying
a 92,000 square foot facility this week which pretty much locks that down.
Although I love Kristine’s mom dearly, sharing her home is not a
good long term plan for her or us.

So now we have decided that if we are to build our
house, the time is now. We are not particularly financially prepared,
meaning it will be a stretch, but we can do it. So, here we are, 8 years
after shedding everything, we are now seeing what we need to do to make
our one dream home a reality. Emily’s dream home means a room of
her own, a bathroom of her own. Dane is a little less specific, while
Kristine has a kitchen and common area that she can entertain in. Anybody
who knows us knows that more often than not, we have guests and Kristine
cooks up a storm! I want a place that I can be myself, with the sunrise
hitting the bed in the morning, and the sunset on the deck in the evening.
We have already found that house and it is called the “Heritage”
from Heritage Log Homes. We hope to have Kevin from the Ottawa make the
log house with his incredible craftsmanship using big Canadian logs, a
chain saw and axe. We haven’t heard back from him yet.

That brings us to the rest of the building of the house.
We know that there are kayakers out there qualified to be our general
contractor. As we hire people at Jackson Kayak, I want to use kayakers
to build the house, bartering for as much as possible. While I could be
the general contractor, I want an expert that knows the ins and outs of
getting more for less, and doing a quality job on the only house I’ll
likely ever live in, die in, on my rural dream property, at my favorite
kayaking spot. This is not a project I am taking lightly.

This is the beginning of the next chapter in the Jackson
family; building a home, from scratch. From no more than we can carry
on our backs, to a place we can hang our hats forever.

Happiness is still independent of any possessions.
This home is a place to park our happy selves, and a place for my kids
to come home to.

🙂 EJ