Mission: Shooting star'n my wife, human hover and dodge that gopher... (the incodent!)

By Billy Harris

I pulled out of Rocky Mountain House a tear in my eye and peddle mashed to the floor. For about a week we hung out paddled with great people dodged logs poached Internet did clinics and pool session’s. Rocky Mountain House’s Brierleys (which I can spell now in only took a month) was amazing. Special thanks to Grant, never was there a guy so excited about boating in my entire life. His wife (Elyse like the car) even put up with us pilfering hot water and killing band width. Grant hooked us up, and literally paddled till he coun’t roll. Awesome. The kiddies at “hela camp, were awesome as well. So many nice people I felt bad leaving…. But off to Skookumchuck tidal rapids, for one of the biggest tides of the year. It was awesome. Don’t need to say more.. Special thanks to the person who stole our paddle while we were there. Real nice, the river god’s will strike you down. (my wife on the other hand says, “they needed it more than we did” It ticks me off that she takes my ‘turd sandwich and turns it into a bundle of pretty flowers. But I am learning to do the same…. Slowly so real quiet like let me know if you “see a carbon fiber h20 with green blades 188 for sale hit him with a bolt of lightning….. pretty please.” He he…

Computers are great aren’t they? Just don’t pour your coffee into them. I even said to myself don’t spill your coffee on the computer. True to what Eric said on his site. (If you think you can or you can’t you will) well I thought it, I did it and it happened all over my new keyboard. For the second time on this trip I replaced my keyboard. Its kind of nice having keys with letters on them, I write a lot so the keys often get worn off. But the laughter from Carly as I tried to save my computer was what really irritated things. I figured that he only thing I could do was sucking the coffee off the computer with my mouth. I Hovered it up with a loud sucking noise holding a deformed coffee cup in my left hand nose pressed against the keys listening to the titter titter and the sound of the lid rolling its way to a hault on the floor. Carly laughing and laughing and laughing. During this, we play a game called “padiddle” if you see a car with a head light out, you punch the roof or the air in this case and yell piddle. While I was staring at the computer from an inch a way sucking away like an idiot she in her laughter punches the air and screams “padiddle”. I loose it, out comes the coffee nastier the second time, scowl at her as she is pumping her fist in victory. Needless to say, I can change a keyboard now even got the tools from Santa Claus (the McDonalds). The first time I paid 40 bucks duped by some shysters in Calgary. My father in law would be impressed I think with my reformed ways. He’s a computer geek in the highest order” Always sending little blurbs. “If he owns a Mac he’ll tell you, if he doesn’t why embarrass him by bringing it up” who does that. Anyway the old Fart is at the Gull Whitewater Preserve, Georgian Bay Kayak club’s annual Chili burn and abuse-slinging event held each year. They all get together tell lies and swim the lower part of the Gull River examining scars and past injuries like battle wounds. Embellishing as only they could about the water level, the maneuver that put them there and the subsequent agony that ensued. I can’t wait I am sure that the next round will be better than what I have heard so far.

We drove from RMH to Vancouver staying the night in Golden. Then off to Jasper so see Sneaky Pete and old Ottawa buddy and have made it all the Way to Regina. WHOLEY FLAT LANDS BATMAN>>>> arug. Only highlight… Played second round chicken with a Gopher today. Ya he lost. Zigged when he should have zagged. Classic mistake, obviously a rookie at the game, should have cut right but OH no… he did the opposite silly little beast tragically no match for the Rigs, Duel’s at the back…. But Carly just looks at me like I ran the poor thing down on purpose. “I tried to dodge it Carly” defending myself, My reply to the scowl of disapproval, her snacking angrily on a cucumber the size of a baseball bat. Carly and I have been cooped up in a van with no running water and have had a few moments now bordering on therapy sessions. My swerving and braking has literally almost killed her. I wanted to climb on a big chunk of ice hit the brakes and forgot to tie up the very popular Shooting Star in the Back. The new plastic combined with its perfect sheen all contributed to the “shooting incodent”, adding to that the wild braking. The shooting star quite literally shot Carly in the head. If it weren’t for her head it would have been the windshield. I heard the boat come loose, she looked back. BAD timing, she saved the windscreen. With her forehead. You should see the bump…. It was a huge den’t at first… Whoooooooo. Anyway, I am all jacked up on Starbucks, and headed to WHITEMUD. Home of some huge wave… lets hope it works out. Last time I showed up 16 hours of driving and the water dropped out. 16 hours back… bummer… any who…. Check the photos…