Kayaker’s Guide to New Year’s Resolutions

1. Kayak asap after January 1st to set the bar for the rest of the year and make a proper statement on social media.

2. Quit your ‘winter months’ by a month this year and make yourself believe that you are a lucky bastard to touch water this early regardless of the amount of ice on your equipment.

3. Make sure that you always stay the keenest one of the gang, and when it doesn’t fit, find a pretty damn well outside-of-the-box excuse not to show up to make up for your wimpiness.

4. Pay your dues: if you swim, take that disgusting booty drink without wining. (I’d love to know who started that out; I’m sure there was some very sensible reasoning (!!!) behind that one!)

5. Good karma and good manners on the river are important, so claim your smiles and hugs from club boaters and pros alike.

6. Remember that Ibuprofen also comes in 600mg, but only use it when it’s “needed”.

Have a great 2018 paddling season guys!