Mission: Big spiders, bad smells and missing the Jackson boat

By Billy Harris

We landed in Toronto with 6 movies under our belt each, I watched enough to cross my eyes. We managed somehow to fly with 3 boats on British Air ways. I am not being mean or anything but BA rocks my world and should be doing product knowledge programs for North American carriers, the booze tray was picked clean, the food came and was beautiful and I even went back to get seconds. On one of my trips I managed to hit the emergency call button in the bathroom and quickly found half the airplane staff at the front door of what I would concede a very smelly room by most standards. Pretty embarrassing, not to mention the LCD display on all the seats wasn’t working on mine. I got her to reset the screen in 34A, opps sorry carly. So now both Carly and I had TV sets that were broken the lady that was first to the door to the bathroom was pretty pissed about the last instance of misconduct and was pretty much abusing me as much as she could without stepping over the line…. The ride home was great, they BA guys lost the boats and then to my wife’s fantastic luck shipped them to our front door later that day. But the boats weren’t our worry. You see, there was a baboon spider in our luggage, we count’s get it out and we were in a hurry. When we got home, there was a proper opening on the front driveway, everyone in their stompers. You see, a Baboon spider…. Not so much fun. BIG. I hope I get to post it, Carlys mom has a broom in her hand and carlys dad Chuck has a 1960’s tennis racket, he saved up for just this kinda opportunity I guess. I hope I get to post the photo…GOLD I tell ya GOLD.

I peeled into the Jackson flophouse pretty much exhausted from the 3 days of traveling back from Africa. Nothing like being on the other side of the world to really mess with your body clock. For the last 2 months I have been on a little island in the middle of Uganda. When I was pretty young I grew up on a little island in the middle of Algonquin Provincial Park when I wasn’t working on the farm I was plotting ways off the island. Little did I know all I was going to want in the future was to be stuck on an island going boating all day? Alas it all had to end, not just getting married but also the adventure in Africa. I managed to con a sweet little woman into marrying me. Poor thing, one of the nicest human beings I have ever known, what she doesn’t know is all I want to do is paddle my kayak.

The Jackson Crew decided that we should go boating when I showed up, Lets go to the black river… Well the wife still had my passport so by the time I got back they chucked my boat off the roof and left without me. VERY SAD. Meanwhile I am running around public schools looking for carly while everyone was made to wait for me.
Off today, should be down to the black before lunch…

Billy Harris on a mission